Cries Should Be Treasured If They Bring Me Pleasure Somehow

Sometimes, the Hardest thing is surving the crash.

2008-03-27T03:37:44Z

Well, where do I even start? First of all, I welcome my self back to LJ. It's been over a year and all. :). I'm not sure how many friends are still active but like I care, I need to vent and if all who hears is the wind then so be it.

There was this chick I liked, who told me countless times, that she was unhappy with her Bf, fine, people are, no biggy, but over time, she and I kinda fell for each other. Now I'll just go off on a tangent and say, that falling in love with your best friend, as we did then, is both a blessing and a curse.

Not wanting to risk spoiling the most perfect friendship I had with her, I denied it from everyone, her, myself, Pilar [who saw right through it. Grr ><] until last week, when Iunno, some kinda realisation came about me and I knew I had to tell her.

So I did, several times, as she usually thinks Im joking about these things. Hennaways, we flirt back and foward for a while, and shes all "We'll see how we go when Im up there"

Monday her and her bf talk, about how they want different things, and how she is unhappy, he apprently was just blank, she seemed shook up but ok.

Next night shes all "Im telling people me and he are over, 'cause we want different things" and "just keep us quiet for now, k?" Meh, fair enough, I'm not the kinda girl to kiss and tell and niether is she really. Then that night I get a text that kills me

"Cj, I can't do it, I just can't" I run out of the party crying and go back to my friends flat for the most heartbreaking emo-coaster ever.

We talk about how shes experiencing shock, related to ending 6 years of your life, we joke, we cry, eventually she agrees again that its me she wants. Then her bf comes in the room where she is, breaks down crying, begging for her back, and she says yes :|. This destroyed me, I couldn't believe it, I wanted to hate her so much, but I couldn't I tried walking away from the friendship but something stopped me, we talked some more, and eventually she agree'd to think it over away from us both.

Now I don't care if its me, he, or some random person named Jim, as long as shes happy thats all I want, thing is I KNOW I can make her happy, and I KNOW that her ex-bf does not. ~sigh~

Such is life

*Flips coin*

Cj out

Mow!

2007-06-27T00:16:00Z

Fill this out

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me...Admit it?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

-What Would You do if...

I asked you to help:
I died from natural causes:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:
I pissed you off:

-What Do You Think Of My...

Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Mannerisms:
Family:
Body:
Friends:
Decisions:

-Would You...

Be my friend:
Tell me the truth no matter what:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Hold my hand:
Take a bullet for me:
Keep in touch:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
(omg)Have Sex with me:
Ditch me:
Use me:
Date me:
(not a v nice question)Rape me:
(nor is tht)Beat me up:

So this is what to do...

2007-04-25T19:24:59Z

Now my media library has doubled in size, let us revist this little game

How to play

Set up your media player to play your library on random

Skip foward, use the track name as the answer to the question, repeat this until all questions are answered.

--line
Got it? Lets go!

Quiz

What does next year have in store for me?
Evening Star

What's my love life like?
True Love Waits

What do I say when life gets hard?
Dollars and Cents

What do I think when I get up in the morning?
Ordinary World

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Idioteque

What do you want as a career?
Astral Romance

Your favourite saying?
Before I die

Favourite place?
Links 2 3 4

What do you think of your parents?
Can't buy me love

What's your Pornstar name?
Out in the fields

Where would you go on a first date?
Rainmaker

Drug of choice?
Tear me down

Describe yourself:
Tell me

What is the thing i like doing most?
Bad Blood

The song that best describes my school principal?
Mickey

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
Slavery

How will I die?
Falls Apart

Words people will remember you for?
Try again.

Oh man I love this type of "quiz", it's hilarious.

Tell me where do we go from here.

2007-04-25T18:54:49Z

Bleugh. That's the entire update, cos that is how I feel. Bleugh.

On the flipside, a coin has 2 sides. So it can only go uphill from here right?

~sigh~

-mew-

2007-04-25T02:45:58Z

New layout, what can this mean? Maybe it means I'm so bored I may start updating this again, but prolly not.

-mew-

don_penguin @ 2007-01-01T15:23:00

2007-01-01T15:23:27Z

2007!

Welcome!

Xmas stuff!

2006-12-08T02:17:57Z

Xmas stuff is in my house; look

Crimbo Tree

Crimbo Dog

Crimbo Santa

Crimbo Sign

Crimbo Tom

Crimbo Angel

Crimbo Dog

Crimbo Tv [guess what channel I was watching]